Red Letter Day

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Conditions of Bin Laden truce with the United States

The damn cockroach is still scuttling. But he has generously offered the Great Satan a truce, if we agree to the following conditions.

1. US must withdraw troops from Afghanistan and Iraq.

2. US must cease all financial support for Israel.

3. George Bush must go on national television and apologize for crimes against Islam.

4. Bin Laden's part in any future movie must be played by Christopher Walken.

5. "Family Guy" must be re-cancelled immediately as it is "no longer very funny"

6. Sharia law must be implemented in at least one American city, preferably Las Vegas.

7. U.S. must influence India to throw the world cricket championship to Pakistan

8. All inmates at Guantanamo must receive free iPod Nanos pre-loaded with entire Koran chanted by Dick Cheney

9. All Americans must grow a minimum 6-inch long beard, including the women.

10. NFL-style instant replay must be used in all future college bowl games.

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